"We're aligned." Everyone is using the same words. No one means the same thing. This will become apparent later, at the worst possible moment, usually in front of a client.
The "be more proactive" entry is painfully accurate. When I audit £500K–£2M professional services firms, the pattern I see isn't a motivation problem — it's a decision-rights problem dressed up as a culture problem. People have taken action, it's gone the wrong way, they've been quietly corrected, and now they wait. One accountancy founder I worked with had a team of 9 who'd collectively stopped making any decision above £500 without her approval. She called it a capability issue. It was a criteria issue — nobody had been told what "good" looked like. The fix wasn't training. It was writing down the five decisions the team could own outright, with explicit guardrails. Took a week. Freed up 8 hours of her time.
“We’re a family here” = run for the hills
The "be more proactive" entry is painfully accurate. When I audit £500K–£2M professional services firms, the pattern I see isn't a motivation problem — it's a decision-rights problem dressed up as a culture problem. People have taken action, it's gone the wrong way, they've been quietly corrected, and now they wait. One accountancy founder I worked with had a team of 9 who'd collectively stopped making any decision above £500 without her approval. She called it a capability issue. It was a criteria issue — nobody had been told what "good" looked like. The fix wasn't training. It was writing down the five decisions the team could own outright, with explicit guardrails. Took a week. Freed up 8 hours of her time.
Im laughing because it's relatable, not cause it's funny.
Also, don’t lie you think I am funny.
You laugh or you cry.
As someone who spent most of my working life working in a startup, I've heard almost 90% of these! Great list:)))
glad it’s not just me in the craziness!! 🤪
I was laughing at about 90% of these. From recognition…
There’s probably a bingo game variation that involves drinking lurking in that list.
Fantastic idea!!
OMG I love this. I hope you what cross published everywhere. The world needs this list
🥰🙏🏻
“That’s on the roadmap” Translation: that feature is scheduled to ship approximately three days after The Rapture.
See also “Engineering just needs to move faster”
Your first was the best! What a great list!
Trigger warning 😊
This translation guide is SO GOOD
Also, “we’re a family here” is a huge red flag. Run. This isn’t Olive Garden.
This article raised my blood pressure 😂 so accurate, I’m having flashbacks!